Water Ch. 2 - Living with Sin

(Circa 2011) Beth had to go to Red Bank for business, and the very thought of that made her tense.  But, business was business and it needed to be done.  She was a stock broker and had a few clients in the Red Bank/Middletown area.  She figured she would pay them all a visit while she was in the area.  It wasn't far from her office in New York City, but again while in the area why not pay them all a visit?  Deciding to make a mini vacation of it, she left the city Wednesday afternoon and checked into the Oyster Point Hotel.  Red Bank was only 50 miles by car from the city, but the traffic was hell either way.  Maybe she could meet up with Amanda, now that Amanda has returned her call. 


Her room was beautiful and the view of the Navesink River was gorgeous, even knowing what was on the other side and to the East a little bit.  But she couldn't let that get to her.  She had business to attend to and that was the only reason she was in Red Bank.  The only reason.

Amanda called her around 7:30 and asked Beth if she wanted to meet for dinner?  Beth agreed and they decided they would meet at the Dublin House on Monmouth St. at 8:30.  A little Irish food sounded excellent to Beth, as she is used to eating traditional American food in the pubs that surrounded her condo in NYC.

Beth freshened up and headed to the Dublin House.  She arrived before Amanda and ordered the bottle of wine.  Beth thought, a bottle or two might calm my nerves and help me sleep.  She didn't like being in Red Bank, or anywhere in New Jersey - a man from New Jersey broke her heart and she blamed everything associated with him. 

Amanda arrived and they had a glass of wine before they ordered.  They had some catching up to do.  Beth was always so busy with work and Amanda was always so busy with her family, they rarely seen each other.  College room mates and best friends for years, they could go 6 months with out talking and pick up right where they left off.  Never skipping a beat. 

Dinner was ordered and Amanda finally asked the question, "Have you called Jon now that you're here, in his backyard?" Amanda gestures with her hands.   Beth looked at her rather appalled. 

"No, why would I call him?"  Expressing her disappointment in her friend, having asked such a ridiculous question.  Amanda was the one that helped her through the heartbreak two years ago.  Did she really want to see Beth go through it again?

"Well, it's been a while since you've talked - I thought maybe you would want to hear from him?"  She says with the look of sadness on her face.

"I would absolutely love to talk to him, there are some days that I want nothing more.  But he has his life now, and I have mine."

"You two could have been SO happy together, if you would have just let it happen."  Amanda says in an accusatory fashion.

"Amanda, you seem to be forgetting that he has a wife and 4 children.  That is his life.  How could I have even been an option?"  Beth wants to cry when she thinks about the love and the time they shared.  She wasn't over him and she didn't think she ever really will be. But when she decided to sever the ties, she knew it was for the best.  Her heart breaks and her dreams are dying, but she'll get by.

"Do you really think it would hurt just to say Hi?"  Amanda asked, knowing the answer.

"It would hurt immensely.  My heart couldn't take it and I don't even want to know what it might do to him.  It's better to leave well enough alone."  Beth says with a building sadness in her voice.  She was so close, yet so far away from the only man she ever loved.  Or was he gone?  She didn't even know if he was in town. 

Dinner came and the two friends ate their dinner and had pleasant conversation.  When the meal was finished and the waitress cleared their plates, Beth asked Amanda if she wanted desert.  Amanda graciously passed on desert saying she needed to get home to hubby and kids.  Beth paid the check and they walked out together.  At Amanda's car they hugged and promised to stay in touch, better than they have been.  Amanda got into her car and drove away.

Beth was glad that she didn't drive to the restaurant, now she was able to walk back to the hotel.  It was a beautiful summer night and a walk would do her some good.  She started out down Monmouth to the west and got to the corner of Monmouth and Maple.  Turning north on Maple she was surprised by how many people were out at 10pm on a Wednesday night.  Remembering that it was summer vacation.  Red Bank and the Jersey Shore are always hopping during the summer.  She kept walking until she made it back to the hotel.  Upon entering her room, she realized she wasn't ready to call it a night.  She went down to the patio area and had a cup of tea. 

When she finished her cup of tea, she retreated to her room and began to get the fiscal report she needed done.  Deadline was looming and she hated missing a deadline.  She grabbed her Mac and plopped herself down in the middle of her bed and got right to work. 

She was having a hard time concentrating, she couldn't stay focused.  The phone rings.  She was startled, no one knew she was here.  Amanda didn't even know what hotel she was at.  She leaned over, grabbed the receiver and said, "Yes?"

"I'm in the lobby, please come down here."  When she heard the voice on the other end, her heart skipped a few beats.

"How did you know I was here?"  She asked, truly puzzled how he knows she's in town.

"I'm in the lobby, will you please come down here?"  He asks, with the patience of a saint.  He knows she doesn't want to, but he also knows she won't resist. 

"I don't think that's a good idea.  How did you know I was here?"  Beth is now getting a little irritated.  Who did he think he was? And how did he know she was in town?

"I seen you walking on Maple Street, I was at Count Basie doing sound check for a show tomorrow night.  I was heading home and seen you walking down the street.  Why didn't you let me know you were in town?"  His confidence is shining through, like her every move should be knowledge to him.

"Jon, I'm in town on business and I have work to do.  I gotta go." Beth tries very hard to sound strong, but even she can't resist this man for too long.  She knew she needed to end the conversation and end it quickly.  She waited for him to respond and he said nothing.

"Goodbye Jon." and she hung up the phone.  She sat there on her bed like she was afraid to even move.  That maybe her slightest movement would give away her location.  She froze.  Heart going a mile a minute and her thoughts just as fast.  Why now?  It was all going so good.  Why NOW? 

A few moments later there was a knock at the door.

"Beth, open up."  He says as quiet as he can, as to not disturb the other guests.  Beth walked over to the door that's dead bolted and has a security chain on it.

"What are you doing here?  Please go, Jon."  Through the door she pleaded.  She knows it wasn't going to work.  It's been 2 years and she was just starting to feel better, she was finally healing.

"Come on babe, open the door.  Don't make me do this through the door." he begged her.

"You shouldn't be here, please go.  Go be with your wife and children."  were the hardest words she ever had to say.  And by the time she got those words out of her mouth, the tears were rolling down her face. 

"I'm not leaving until I see you, so open up please."

"I can't open the door, I can't let you in again.  I can't do this to myself again, please go.  Go home Jon."  she says with such heartache in her voice, and he heard that.

"Beth, I am not leaving until I see you are okay." he taps on the door a little bit. 

She puts her back to the door and slides down until she is sitting.  Crying harder than she has in a long time she keeps saying, "Please leave Jon.  Please go Jon."  And he doesn't listen to her.  He continues with the light tapping.

"Come on babe, open the door.  People are starting to look at me funny.", he says with no concern about the press or the fact that he's disturbing the peace. 

Beth can't believe this is happening.  She wants nothing more than to open the door and throw her arms around him. She wants to smell him, taste him and feel him.  He was the love of her life. 

She works her way to her feet and slides the chain off, all while knowing it was a very bad idea.  She reaches down for the deadbolt, unlocks it and steps back.  He opens the door and walks in. 

She didn't even want to look at him.  She stood there in her skirt, blouse and shoeless - hiding her face in her hands.  He walks up to her and gently grabs her chin, and directs her face to look up at him.  She has tears rolling just like waterfalls and she keeps thinking, please go.  Don't do this to me.  Please go........She cannot look at him, if she does - it will all be over.  She will melt like putty in his hands and she worked very hard to get where she is at emotionally and mentally.

He leans in and kisses her.  Once, twice, three times and stops.  Not letting her go.

"Hey, look at me." he pleads with her.  She can't, she won't.  "Beth, it's okay."  She knows it's not.  She knows he shouldn't be here, he has a wife and family.

"You have seen that I'm okay, can you go now?"  in her strongest of voices. 

He chuckles and says, "This is not okay."  And wraps his arms around her and she just melts into him.  She is now crying so hard it difficult to catch her breath.

"Why did you come here, why are you doing this?", she demands an answer now.  She's is crossing the line of being heartbroken to pissed at a rather fast pace.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to be driving down the street and see the woman of your dreams walking by?  I had no idea you were in town, I have no idea what's been going on with you.  I had to see you.", in his mind, it makes sense.  In his mind, it's his right. 

He holds her until the hard sobbing stops.  By then he had moved them over to the bed and they had sat down.  The entire time he doesn't let her go.  He holds her as if his life depended on it.

Again, he takes her chin and directs her face up.  She can open her eyes and look at him now.  She sees the man she loved with every ounce of her being, every cell of her body. She also sees the man that broke her heart.

"You shouldn't be here." She tells him as if he didn't already know. "You should go."  She wants nothing more than for him to stay.  She never wanted to let him go.

"I know I shouldn't be here, I know I shouldn't have came.  But when I seen you, I had to see you.  Why are you here in Red Bank?", not even believing his own words. 

"I have some clients to meet with tomorrow and they all are right here.  I had dinner with Amanda tonight.  When you seen me, I was walking back from the Dublin House." She pauses, "Why are you here?"  She wanted to know.  Did he think she was in town with an ulterior motive?

"I meant what I said, when I seen you, I had to see you.  I went to the Molly Pritcher Inn first and you weren't registered there, so I figured it had to be here.  You're not that hard to find."

"I wasn't hiding from anyone.  No use for aliases anymore.  I can be Beth Adams where ever I go now.  It's kind of nice."  She said matter of fact.

He chuckled, "How have you been?  I've have missed you so much!!"  He kissed her forehead.  He couldn't believe he was with her, touching her, kissing her - wanting her. 

She told him that she has been fine, been really busy with work and asked him, "How are Dot and the kids?'

"Same old Beth I see, pull no punches."  he laughs.  "Dorothea and the kids are fine.  As a matter of fact, they all are in upstate New York, scouting colleges for Stephanie.  Plus mom and dad bought a place up there, so they are on a mini vacation before they head out to the Hampton's."

"And dad is stuck here, playing a show at Count Basie tomorrow.  What's the show for?"  Beth didn't really want to know, she really didn't. 

"It's a fan club show that Matt put together.  About 1500 of my die hards will be there.  I'm feeling a little pressure to do it, as this is an off tour year - but what the hell.  It beats travelling around New York with Dorothea."  Beth knows he's being honest about it too.  "South Side and the Jukes will join me, so it will be fun."  He tries to convince himself.

"Jon, you really should go." she says, as she pulls herself away from him, still sitting on the bed.

He looks at her and says, "Do you really WANT me to leave?"  And he is actually afraid of her answer.

"I don't think it's right, you being here.  It's been 2 years, please go." she really doesn't want to say goodbye again, but it's for the best.  Another goodbye like the last, she doesn't think she can make it through.

Jon positions himself so that he is leaning on the headboard.  He pulls Beth to him and she sits snuggled between his legs, with her head on his chest.  She can smell him and that scent takes her back to when they were together, when they were so in love.  It's a smell you never forget and one that has many memories attached to it.  No one has ever smelled that good to her and no one else ever will.  She just rested her head, closed her eyes and inhaled deeply.  He started to run his fingers through her long blond hair.  He could tell it had been up earlier in the day, it had the feel of product, but he didn't care.  While caressing her head, she says, "Do you have any idea how hard these last two years were on me?" 

Does she have any idea?  Really?  She lived through those same two years that he did, and she bets that she had a harder time with it than he did.  In those 2 years he had a world tour, opened a restaurant and got actively involved with that.  He had plenty of things to keep him busy.  She had her work.  Her work was all she had.  She let all other interests and passions go when she was the mistress of a rock star.  She put everything on hold to be with a man that had no intention of leaving his wife.  She missed so much, for a missed opportunity.  So, does she have any idea?  Yea, she has plenty of ideas on how hard that was.

"I do know how hard they were, cause they were 10 times harder than that for me." she says with sarcasm.  "I lived those same two years.  I really think you should go."  She tries to get up off of him and he holds her there.  He's not letting her get up, she's not getting away.  "Jon, really you need to leave. I have work to do and you need to go home."  She wants him gone, she wants him to stay.  She is so confused right now.

"I can sit right here while you work, you never minded me watching you before." he pipes up acting like they haven't been apart for 2 years.  "come on, sit back, I'll rub your feet."

She is able to free her self from the snuggle and she sits up and says, "Jon, you really shouldn't be here.   You really need to go.  Please?!?",  she can't protest any nicer than she has already.

"Honey, you know you don't want me to leave. Let's talk about this?

"What is there to talk about?  Didn't we say all that we had to say two years ago when YOU told me we were DONE."  Now Beth is getting upset.  She has gone way passed being hurt, she is now getting pissed.  The sting of the memory, of him ending their relationship, hurt just like it happened yesterday.  And for him to come here and act this way pissed her off even more.

"Baby, come here."  He leans over and pulls her hands so she is snuggled between his legs again, this time though - he pulls her a little higher.  He places his hands on the sides of her face and starts to kiss her.  Quick little pecks all over her face until he gets to her lips.  When he gets to her mouth and he feels the softness of her lips, he kisses them gently.  Beth remains strong and doesn't kiss him back.  And she knows that if she doesn't stop this, it's going to get out of hand and she will do something that she will later regret.

He kissed her lips.  Again and again.  She feels herself getting weaker and starts to kiss him back.  He picks up on her response and wraps his whole body around her.  Wrapping her tight in the safeness she has only felt with him.  He went right to her target locations and knew just what to do and where.  He remembered that her neck was her weakest link.  Kissing her and nibbling on her neck was about all she could take, the little tongue flutters about drove her over the edge.  She felt things come alive inside herself that she hasn't felt for a long time.  Since the last time she was with Jon.  He knew what to do, when to do it and for how long.