Water Ch. 181 - Is The Promise Forever, If You Sign On The Dotted Line

 

She has always loved the wake up call that she got from Romeo.  The one where he lifts her eye lids and says, "Bef."  Today wasn't any different.  He pulled her lids up and said, "Bef, wake up."  She smiled and opened her eyes.
 

"Hi buddy." she says, smiling as she grabs him off the floor and pulls him onto the bed with her.  "How are you?" 

He's shy at first, because Jon and Beth had been away for a couple of weeks.  He lays next to her, biting his lip, looking at Beth.  She rolls on her side to face him and he puts his arm on her neck, giving her a hug.  Her heart melted.  

In the distance they can hear, "Romeoooooo."  They both recognize it as Jon.  Beth grabs the blankets and pulls them up over her and Romeo and says, "Shhh, we'll hide."  Romeo giggled and wiggled a little bit.  "Don't move." 

"Romeoooooo." Jon says again as he walks in the room and sees the blankets on the bed moving a little bit.  So, he plays along.  "Romeo!  Beth!  Where did they go?  Where is my Romeo?" 

Jon can hear the giggles that are coming from under the blankets, and he can see the wiggle getting a little more excited.

"Shhhh."  Beth says to Romeo, putting her hand over his belly trying to keep him still.  Jon jumps on the bed and Romeo freaked.  He whipped the covers down and Jon was right there to growl in his face.  Romeo about died.  His giggles turned to belly laughter and his dad tackled him and held him on the bed.

"Are you hiding from me?" Jon asks the youngest of his children, laughing at how excited Romeo was playing hide and seek. 

Beth whispers, "Good Morning." reaching up and poking Jon in the ribs.  "Why did you let me sleep so late?"

Jon stands up and picks up Romeo, winking at Beth he said, "We were up late, so I figured I'd let you sleep in.  Do you want some coffee?"

She sits up and looks at the clock.  She couldn't believe that it was almost 10:00.  Wiping the sleep from her eyes, after a big yawn she says, "Yes, please.  Is your mom here?"

"Yeah, she's downstairs with dad and the kids."

Beth pushes the blankets off her, forgetting that she slipped Jon's tshirt on in the middle of the night, and gets out of bed.  Walking into the closet she tells Jon, "I'll be down in a second.  I just want to put some pants on and brush my teeth."

He walks up to her, with his mini me on his arm, and kisses her good morning.  She wraps her arms around the both of them, "Good morning."

Jon takes Romeo and heads back down stairs while Beth brushes her teeth and throws on some yoga pants.  Looking out at the river, she can see that fall has arrived and pretty soon it's going to snow.  She didn't like the snow, she has been away from the snow for so long - she dreaded it's arrival.  The river was beautiful this time of year. 

The colors of the changing leaves are so vivid and vibrant, Beth swears to herself that she can smell the color.  She has always said that she can smell the color of fall.  Shaking off the mental chill, she takes off downstairs, excited to see the kids.  They have been away for too long.

Jon's mom and dad were sitting at the kitchen counter talking with Jon when Beth popped in.

"Good morning dear." says mother Bongiovi. 

"Hey, Beth." says father Bongiovi.  Beth stops at both of them and kisses their cheeks, telling them both "Good Morning."  After the morning greetings, Beth pours herself a cup of coffee and stands next to her man. 

"How was your trip?"  Ma B asks her.

"It was good, but I'm glad to be home."  Beth tells her, "I missed the kids."

"They missed you guys too.  This time was different, they all seemed to be in a funk when I got them from Dorothea last night." Dad says.

 

"We're leaving tonight for Paris.  Do you guys want to join us?"  Jon informs his parents, and Beth all at the same time.

 

"We're leaving tonight?" Beth asks, surprised.

 

Jon nodded and said, "Yeah - I want to leave right now, but I know you will need time to pack."

 

Beth looks at him, quizzically, "Why tonight?"

 

"I'm ready for vacation, aren't you?"

 

Jon's dad jumps in and says, "She probably feels like she just got home from one, right Beth?"

 

Beth looks at the Sr. Bongiovi and agrees, "Yeah Jon, we just got home and now you want to leave again, right away?"

 

Jon takes a drink of his coffee and looks at Beth, winking.

 

"We can wait if you want, I just want to go away with the kids and leave everyone and everything behind us."

 

"Okay, we can go tonight, babe.  That's fine." Beth can see a little bit of stress in his eyes, so of course she agrees.  "Is everything okay?"

 

"Yeah, everything is fine.  Why?"

 

Jon's mom had the answer for this one, and had no business telling Beth but she couldn't help herself.  "Jon was served divorce papers this morning."

 

Beth's head spun just as fast as her head was, "He WHAT?"

 

Jon steps into her and puts a hand on her waist, pulling her closer, "Dot had me served this morning."  Giving his mother the stink eye.

 

"You have got to be kidding me?"

 

He shakes his head no, letting out a chuckle, "I read them over my coffee this morning."

 

"Jon, why didn't you wake me up?"

 

Jon's dad gets up to leave the room, taking his wife's hand he says, "Come on mother, let's go sit with the kids."  Carol gets up and heads to the family room where the kids are watching television.

 

"Why didn't you wake me, Jon?"

 

"For what?"

 

"To tell me about them?" she scolds him slightly, thinking how he must have felt to get and read them alone.

 

"It's no big deal.  I have already faxed them to Peter.  It's handled." 

"I guess that explains why you want to leave today."  Beth scratches her head, "I'm guessing the press will have a field day with this one.  I'll go pack."  And she exhales heavily.

Coffee mug in hand, she traipses off upstairs and starts to pack for the two of them.  As she leaned over the drawer that kept her t-shirts, she was suddenly overcome with sadness.  Out of nowhere.  The tears burn her eyes and the lump in her throat is getting harder to swallow around.  She braces herself on the dresser and just lets it flow.  As she cries, she tries to pack and with every movement - she seems to get even more sad.

Gathering her composure, she packs for the two of them and places the extra bags at the door way.  When she's done grabbing this and throwing in that, into her carry on, she jumps in the shower.  With the steam beating on her back and the steady sound of the water, she loses herself in daydreams.  Daydreams that make her smile and make her long for another time and place.  When suddenly it hits her...........Jon is getting divorced.  Even though she had just gone through a spell of sadness, she couldn't help but smile at the thought that her dream of marrying Jon is even closer to coming true.

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The kids were great on the flight to Paris.  It was a good idea to bring Pete with them, Pete was always so helpful.  She was one of them, she belonged.  Once they made it to the hotel, it was time for Romeo to take a nap.  Pete had the kids in their rooms and Jon and Beth went to theirs.  Beth unpacked her bag and started to tell Jon about her crying spell she had before they showered.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

She nods and adds, "I think so.  It was really weird.  It came out of nowhere.  I kind of thought that my hormones would be back to normal by now."

"Do you want to talk to someone, a professional?"

"No, I don't need to do that." she scoffs at that.  Hanging her clothes in the walk in, she looks back at him and continues, "Do you think I need to see someone?"

"No. Not at all.  Although, I'm impressed at how well you have been holding up.  I've wondered how you do it."

She admits to him, and it pains her slightly to do it, "It's not been easy.  The two weeks on the road were nice.  The distractions were great."

He laughs, "We did have fun, didn't we?"

"Yeah!  Why can't you do smaller venues like those.  The shows were great."

Jon starts to unpack his own bags, hanging clothes up with Beth in the walk in.  "I needed to do those shows.  They were the best therapy for me, and having you there made it even more therapeutic."

"They were good for me too.  How are you doing?" she asks him, as she hands him his leather jackets to hang up in the closet.  "The divorce papers were a shock, how are you doing with that?"

"I told you that it's handled."

"I didn't ask you if it's being taken care of.  I asked how you are doing, Jon.  Don't word play me." she let's him know that he isn't funny.

Taking his cigarettes off of his dresser, he starts to head out onto the balcony.  As he's walking out he says to Beth, "The divorce is far easier than the girls."  He closes the door behind him and stands on the balcony until he is joined by Beth.  His comment stopped her in her tracks and made her think that she has been so selfish. 

Sliding open the  door, greeted  by the chilly European air, Beth steps out and asks Jon, "How are you doing, regarding the girls."  Stepping into his personal space, she rests her head on his chest and looks down at his bare feet.  She hates the tattoo that she sees, but this isn't about the tattoo.  "Babe, how are you dealing with it?"

He puts an arm around her, takes one last day of his cigarette and flicks the butt off the balcony. "To be honest with you, I'm not doing too good."  Both arms go around her and he squeezes her tight, and doesn't let her go.  "I have some very bad anxiety over it."  He buries his face in her hair hair, not wanting to let her go - ever.  He feels the best when she is with him.  When they share air, when they touch. He knows that he just opened a gate that he doesn't want to close, but they're on vacation.  He swore to himself that their family vacation will be just that - family.  He doesn't want to bring anyone down with his feelings and he definitely doesn't want to burden her with his heavy emotions.  But she doesn't let it go.

"Tell me about it."

"What do you want to know?"

"Why don't you talk to me, Jon?  When do you have this anxiety?"  She looks up at him, tears in her eyes.  "Tell me what you're feeling, what you're thinking.  Please let me know that I'm not the only one on the verge of going crazy."

Kissing her head, and squeezing her just a little tighter, "You are not the only one on the verge of going crazy."

"Talk to me." She slides her hands along his waist line until they meet in the back, putting her hands together, she pulls him to her, and repeats, "Babe, talk to me."

"I don't know what to say.  I feel so empty, so lost and so guilty.  My heartbreaks every time I look at you, because I know you're hurting.  I want answers, I want the pain to pass and I want my daughters back."  His grip on her doesn't lessen at all, if anything - he squeezes even harder.

"Keep talking."

She can feel his breathing increase and his heart race.  She can feel his body tense up and his stance become firmer.  She can feel that he is a ticking time bomb, with a very short fuse.  She needs to get him to talk.

"I want your pain to go away, more than anything.  I want you to sleep without tossing and turning all night long.  I want you to sleep all night and not cry in your sleep.  I want to go back in time and change all that's happened or I want to wake up and have this all be a bad dream."  he takes a deep breath, resting his chin on the top of her head.  "We have endured so much in such a short time, when will we get a break?"

Beth looks back up at him and tells him, "We will get a break.  What else could really go wrong?"  She rubs his back, hoping she can get him to relax even just a little bit. 

"I'm a good man, you're a great woman.  We help those less fortunate and do good things with our time and money.  We help people all the time, why do we have all the bad ju ju still?" 

"I don't think that ju ju has anything to do with it.  I think this is just God's plan for us.  He doesn't give people things that they can't handle."

"I have no faith in God right now."

"Don't talk like that."

"What kind of God would take Rowan and Spencer from us?  What kind of God would let Stephanie find her mother after a suicide attempt, what kind of God would let you get hurt in the Bahama's, what kind of God would let us get into the accident that we did?  Do I need to go on?" he pauses, waiting for her reply.

"Will you look at one thing before you give up on God?"

"What?"

"We are still together, standing her stronger than ever.  You have 4 healthy and beautiful children getting ready for a late dinner.  We have everything anyone could ever want, and we have our health.  Let's focus on what we have, as opposed to what has happened."

"I'm still pissed off at God.  You seen those babies.  How could he take them from us like her did?"

"I ask him that everyday, and I believe that one day we will see why.  I have to believe.  If I didn't, I may do exactly what Dot did.  I have to believe, Jon."

"How do you get through the day?"

"I cry alot.  And I talk to God.  Alot of deep breathing and my love for you and your kids helps me, more than you will ever know.  I yearn to hold them and to kiss them, just as much today as I did yesterday." she starts to open up to Jon and it seems to be helping him.

"How are we going to get through this, babe?"

"Together." is all she needed to say, and his tears started to flow again.  She has only seen him cry a handful of times and this was his second worst. With the worst being when they buried their babies.

"I don't know if I can make it.  I am so gutted, so broken and so fucking pissed off." he blurts out, knowing that she knows exactly how he feels.  She's been there, she's there and she'll be there for a while.

She steps back from his embrace and takes his hands.  Looking in his eyes, she smiles.  "I'm pissed off too, I'm broken and gutted, but ya know what; we will get through this together.  We have to Jon."

She takes his cigarettes and lights one and sits down.  He sits across from her and lights a cigarette too.  He looks at her, her beautiful face and he can see her pain too.  "I'm sorry to dump this on you, Beth.  I just couldn't keep it all bottled up anymore."

"Jon, don't ever apologize for sharing your feelings with me.  If we can't help each other, than what are we doing?  You're getting the divorce, we should be celebrating right now.  Not crying.  We have the first step to our happiness already in progress.........let's look forward, instead of back.  We know there is no way we will ever forget, so let's take the experience and move forward to make our life even better than what we thought it could be." she leans over and puts her hand on his.  "I think you said it in a song, we gotta hold on to what we got"

The two of them are exhausted.  Beth can't count the number of times that she had looked at the bed and wished she could lay down, with Jon.  She just wanted him to spoon her all night long and wake the same way.  To be wrapped in his arms when they are together is as close to heaven as she thought she would ever get.  She sees the lines o his face get deeper and knows that he truly is stressed, that he truly is pissed and she thinks a small part of him is scared.  Scared of the unknown and scared of the known.  Soon he will be divorced and able to marry Beth - will he be the husband that she deserves?

"Let's go to bed.  I know Pete has the kids and she's taking them to get dinner.  I am drained." he tells the woman that he loves, more than life itself.  "And then tomorrow, it's off to Disney with the kids for a fun filled day.  The kids need it as much as we do."  Stomping out his cigarette, he gets up and walks to the door.  "Are you coming?"

"Yeah, I just need a minute, okay.  I'll be right there."


Jon calls to the kids room and makes sure that they are all doing okay.  Pete assures him that everything is fine.  Jon explained to her on the plane what's been going on, so Pete knows that Jon is tired.  "Jon, grab that woman of yours and go to bed.  The kids and I will get you in the morning when they have eaten and are ready to go."

"Thanks Pete.  I love you!"

"I love you too Jon.  Good night." and they hang up.

Jon and Beth climb into bed and as soon as he has her as close as he can, he tells her, "We need to have a baby."