Water Ch. 187 - Backseat Confessionals

With Beth's hand in his, they leave Harpo studios and get into his waiting car.  Beth knows that he's pissed, but was this really the way to handle it, she wondered.  Inside the car, Jon tells the driver to take them to O'hare executive airport.  And the driver does what he's told.

In the backseat of the car, Beth had to speak up. He was always giving her grief for running when the going got tough, wasn't that what he just did?  "Jon, why did we leave?  Why didn't you just tell her that you didn't want to discuss the twins?  I think that was kind of rude."

"Rude?  What's rude is that she agreed to not even mention them.  So, was I really rude?  She knew she was walking a fine line and she decided to cross it.  A man in my position does not have to deal with bullshit like that.  I'll donate the god damn million dollars to the March of Dimes myself.  That's bullshit Beth." She's starting to see the passion come back to life within him and she really liked that.  He was feeling again, and it can only get bitter sweet from here.

She rubs his hand and says, "I kind of feel sorry for her, but I guess you're right.  She decided to cross the line, and thank you for not talking about them.  I don't think I could have sat there and listened to that." she admits and she wants him to know that she appreciated his protecting of her. 

He turns to look at her, "I need to talk to someone about it.  I need help getting passed the loss of the girls. I can't believe that.  I don't know what is up, when it comes to them, Beth.  I'm lost."  she sees the tears start to well up in his eyes and she reaches to hug him.  He stops her.  "How are you doing so well?  How can you get out of bed with a smile on your face?  How?"

"Well, I look at it this way, I can lay around and feel sorry for myself, but I know that they wouldn't want us to and the other kids need us not too.  So, we kind of have to buck up and move on, babe.  She takes his hand this time and tells him, "We will be parents some day soon, but until then - we need to keep their memory alive and be the best parents that we can be to Steph, Jesse, Jacob and Romeo.  We really have no other option." 

He reaches over to her and pulls her to him.  She half on, half off his lap and he whispers to her, "Don't ever leave me.  I have already lost enough.  Promise me."

"Where is that coming from?" she asks him, not sure where his train of thought is, or where it's going. 

He looks her in her beautiful ice blue eyes, reaches over and slides some of her bangs out of her eyes and says, "I'm terrified that I'm going to lose you again and miss out on the important stuff again.  I should have been with you when you learned that they were dead."

She sits up, quite quickly and explains to him, "You being there would have not changed the outcome.  They were gone and we dealt with it the best way that we could.  Come on Jon, what's going on - really."

Grabbing her, kissing her head he repeats, "Please don't leave me."

She hugs him back, kisses his neck and says, "I promise, I'm not going anywhere."

"Everyone thinks that we should be freaking out about that tape, but I can't.  I don't care about it.  We fucked, it was on film - the end.  I have bigger issues to deal with than that.  Why can't people just leave us alone?"

She looks at him, with concern now.  She's not seen Jon like this before and she's not sure how to handle him.  So she handles him the best way that she can.  "People will never leave us alone, because you are no longer with your high school sweetheart.  People loved you for that.  You're now with a woman that practically came out of nowhere and once that started - it's been a roller coaster ride from the start.  Had you been caught on film with Dot, there is no way it would have the popularity or the press that this one has.  We are a hot topic of conversation." she thinks that she has explained it enough, but maybe not.  She's not seeing the light go on, or the look that he understands what she's saying.

"I've had enough.  I don't want to do it anymore.  I am sick of having to explain my actions to people that don't mean shit to me.  It's time I focus on getting me well, getting us well and being the best father that I can be.  From here on out, we will no longer discuss our private life with the press or anyone not directly involved with the family."

"I like that idea." she smiles at him and has to throw in there, "I'm glad that you did the interview today.  You needed that kick in the ass to start on your road to recovery.  I'm proud of you honey."

Arriving at the airport terminal., they get out of the car and board the Bon Jovi jet.  Met by Julie, the cook, Jon tells her - "Please take your seat, we won't need your services today."  And they head to the main cabin and take their seats.  With their seat belts fastened, and take off preparations underway, Jon asks Beth, "How do you feel about getting the kids when we get back?  I miss them and want them with us."

"I would absolutely love that.  I miss the pitter patter of the Romeo feet and the wake up eye lids.  I miss talking with Steph and I need to work harder on my relationships with Jesse and Jacob.  I can tell that they both love me,, but I think they are team Dot right now, and I really don't want to interfere with that.  Jonny, I love your kids, I really do."

 

"I have never doubted that for a second, Beth.  What would you say to a commitment ceremony?  Since we can't get married yet?"

 

"You mean a practice wedding?" she laughs, "I'm only kidding.  Are you talking about a ceremony, like a wedding but just vowing our love for one another, with all of our friends and family around?"

 

"Yeah, exactly.  I would love to do that, with all of our friends and family there.  I really want the world to know, but we can keep it simple." he adds.

 

"I like that idea.  I would love to commit myself to you in front of the family and our friends.  I would absolutely love it."  she kisses the hand that she is still  holding.  "Do you have a date in mind?"

 

"Not a date, per say - but a season.  I would love to do it on the grounds in New Jersey, next to the river.  That seems to be our special place.  I love being out there with you."

 

Beth thinks for a minute, "That sounds wonderful." Even though her thoughts about the NJ house are still the same.  He spent many years with Dot there and Beth had a hard time feeling like she was home when she was there, except in the master suite.  But it meant something to Jon, so she will be more than happy to do it.

 

"Are you sure?"

 

"I love the idea, Jon.  It will be beautiful.  But we better hurry.  Fall is here and it's going to get cold soon." she shivers just thinking about it.

 

"We can start planning when we get settled back at home with the kids.  And we can also start looking for another house."

 

He took her breath away, could he see the concern on her face?  Was she that transparent?

 

They are in the air, for a flight that might last an hour and a half.  Jon decides that he's thirsty so he calls for Julie.  She appears and says, "Yes Jon, what can I get you?"

 

"Perrier, please.  Babe, do you want anything?"

 

Beth shakes her head no, but thanks Julie  She disappears and quickly comes back with Jon's bottle of water.  When Julie is out of sight, Jon tells Beth, "I need to get rid of her.  She's been caught stealing and I won't put up with that shit."

 

Beth is shocked, "Stealing what?"

 

"Well, I give her a few hundred dollars everyday to buy food for the plane and when we land and get off, she takes all the food that she bought in excess and takes it home.  It's not that I can't afford it, it's the principal of it.  Don't bite the hand that pays for the food that you steal.  Pisses me off."

 

"I'd fire her too."

 

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Landing at Monmouth Executive Airport, the waiting car takes them home to the house on the river.  It's early evening and the sun is still high in the sky.  The reporters had thinned out once they knew that Jon went to talk to Oprah, but there were a few stragglers hoping to get a word or two about what happened on Oprah earlier.  But Jon avoided them. 

 

Out of the car, Jon asks Beth, "Do you want to go walk the bank?  We can map out our ceremony, that we need to plan right away."

 

She takes his arm and says, "Lead the way.  You're the one that gets to plan this thing.  I'm planing the real wedding." and she ha ha ha hims. 

 

Walking down by the riverbank, Jon feels a slight chill, so he assumes that Beth feels it too.  he wraps his arm around her, kisses her cheek and asks, "Are you warm enough?"

 

"I'm fine honey, stop fretting, okay."

 

"I want you comfortable." he reaches into his pocket and takes out his cell phone.  He finds Pete's contact info and calls her.  "Hey, Pete.  We're home if you want to bring the kids back, or we can come get them."

 

Pete bites her lip, knowing that Jon might get pissed but she tells him, "We just got to Coney Island.  Do I have to bring them now?  Or can it wait until morning?  The kids are pretty excited."

 

Jon kicks a rock into the river, contemplating the best move here.  They want the kids home, but it's been a very long time since they have been to Coney Island.  "Yeah, morning is fine.  They have school the day after tomorrow, so no later.  Kiss them for us, please and I'll see you in the morning."

 

"Ok, love ya."

 

"Love you too Pete." And they hang up.  He turns to Beth and says, 'This is our last night with no kids, what do you want to do?"

 

Off subject and she knows, but she's having thoughts that she wants to share.  "I can see the white tents, the white lights and the band over there.  I can see your mother running around like a chicken with her head cut off and I thought of a compromise for us, when it comes to my dress."

 

"Oh yeah, what's that?"

 

"I'll wear the dress that was in my family for the commitment ceremony and then I'll buy a wedding dress when we really get married.  How does that sound?"

 

Walking up behind her, he wraps himself around her and agrees, "That would be wonderful.  I was hoping you would get a new dress for our wedding." he kisses the back of her head.  The two of them stand there until the sun goes completely down.  When it was time to go in, they made a stop in the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of Vino.  They headed to the master suite and tried to settle in for the night.  Tried.......................