Water Ch 70 - (It's Hard) Letting You Go

“What more would you like to know? She asks, “I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Baby, I will have no secrets in this relationship. So, where do you want to start?” She means every word she just said.


“Where did you meet?” he asks, “That’s the first thing that came to mind, so don’t think you’re getting off easy, they will get harder.” He tells her, and honestly he doesn’t even know where to begin.

“We met in college. We had a class together, I think it was an accounting class or something. At first I didn’t like him, because he was cocky. God, he was an arrogant asshole. But over the months and his many attempts of asking me out, I broke down.” She shares this with Jon, with a smile on her face. She enjoyed talking about Brian, and it’s rare that she can. Not many people knew of her loss. She kept her personal life, personal. For her coworkers to meet Jon at the cocktail party was a little to close for comfort for her, but she was taken by surprise there.

“Ok, what did you love the most about him? After he finally broke you down.?” He shoots off another question. Not really knowing what her answer might be. He had reached over and grabbed her hand and was rubbing her fingers with his. He’s drawn to her ring finger and says, “We need to put something pretty on that.”

Beth looks at him and asks, “Why?” being a smartass, more than anything.

He point blank says, “So everyone knows you’re mine.”

She laughs and says, “I think most of the world knows that already. But if you want to buy me something for there, I won’t stop you. Starburst Opals are my favorite.” She jerks her hand away and holds it up in front of her face, “Yep, an Opal would look great there.” She laughs again. “But, getting back to Brian, what I loved most about Brian was that he was my equal. He treated me the way I deserved to be treated and he often put me in check. I have a way about me, you haven’t seen that yet.”

“Oh, I can see the potential there; you can’t possibly think I didn’t pick up on that, did you?” he loves looking at her. Laying there in her string bikini, with her rock hard body and bad ass hot pink cast, that covers two thirds of her leg.

She turns to face him, cast clunking on the metal of the lounge chair, and says to him, “You really have no idea what I’m capable of. If I love you, I love you with everything. If I don’t like you, I have no use for you. Life is too short to waste time on the unnecessary and all the bullshit. I don’t play games, I don’t participate in the BS that most people live for.”

“Whoa, wait a minute, we’re getting off subject here.” he reminds her, wanting to get back to where they were going.

As he stands to get up, he stops, his penis right in her face. She reaches up and flicks it with her fingers and says “Get that out of my face, I haven’t had my morning coffee yet.”

“That’s what I got up for, do you want more coffee?” he reaches for her coffee cup and she hands it to him. He refills their coffee cups and sits back down. “Now where were we?”

“Well, you asked where I met him and what I loved most about him. What else do you want to know?” she refreshes his memory.

“When were you going to get married?” he asks, gently, aware she was still hurting - even though she pretended she was over it.

She sits there and just looks at Jon, thinking to herself, ‘Do I really want to tell him that?’ IF she tells him, knowing that will have a cloud over that day for forever. It will not only be in her mind every year, but it just might be in his too. She doesn’t want to risk that. But she has to tell him. He asked the question.

With a deep breath in and a shallow one out, she tells, “We were getting married on Thanksgiving Day. It was a destination wedding.” He sees the sadness coming over her face. But he knows that he needs to have her talk about this, or Brian is always going to be a shadow over them and any life that they try to build. Jon has learned enough over the years, watching people keep their demons buried does absolutely no good. He pushes…..

“What were you doing when you were told he had died?” and he holds his breath. She looks at him and opens her mouth to talk, but nothing comes out. Jon grabbed his bathrobe, put it on and sat down next to her on her lounge chair.

She knows he's asking these questions for a reason.  He cares.  And he knows that she has suffered a loss, a great loss if she's unable to talk about it. 

All Beth can think about is that this was supposed to be their time.  Time together, was this what time together meant? 

"Jon, this is difficult.  You're now peeling the scab off, and I was ready to let it heal and go away.  Even if it leaves a little scar."  She is honest, like she promised and she really wants to be forthcoming with the answers. 

"I was at work, in New York when I got the call.  I had to identify and clain his body.  I was his emergency contact and his parents were in Europe." she sat there motionless.  Hoping he would leave it alone, but he couldn't.

"How did you handle the news, what did you do?" he pushes. 

With a lump in her throat and tears swelling up in her eyes, she said, "I was in meetings all weekend with foreign clients, so I had Tammy hold all my calls.  Well, when the Maine State Police called, she knew she couldn't just take a message.  She got me out of my meeting and I took the call.  They asked me if I knew Brian Richardson and I confirmed that I did.  The officer went onto say something like 'there's been and accident, we need someone to come up here to Portland, as soon as possible'  I don't remember word for word, all I can swear to is that I passed out right there.  When I came to, Bill was with me in my office and he told me that they had a plane waiting for me at LaGuardia.  He took me to the airport and him and Tammy flew with me to Portland."  The tears are heavy and the sobbing is painful.  She's getting mad that he got this information out of her.  The only people she has really talked to about that day are Brian's parents and Tammy.  She didn't like to talk about it.

"When we arrive at the State Police post, entering the driveway, I could see Brian's car on a flatbed, smashed so bad."  She takes a deep breath and finishes her story.  "I went in and was taken to the coroner's office and had to ID the best side of him, since he was hurt so bad.  I was able to identify him and I claimed the body.  I made arrangements to have him flown to Boston and contacted his parents.  It is THE worst time in my life."  He pulls her in close and puts his arms around her and squeezes as hard as he would let himself.  She buries her face in his chest and just cries and cries.  She didn't care that she was getting snot all over Jon Bon Jovi, he kind of asked for it by pushing the issue.  "His funeral was a week later, and the day I went to bury my fiancee was the worst day of my life.  The service was beautiful, there were well over 1000 people there.  Between his family and co workers, there was not a seat left.  He was so loved by so many, and I feel so blessed to have had him in my life the time that God let me have him.  I just hate that God took him away so fast.  What hurts the most is, I couldn't say goodbye.  He was drinking with his friends and then he was gone.  I was so lost.  I was so alone." she takes a few deep breathes to try to clam herself down.  In, out.  In, out.  In, out.  It's not working. 

"Hey, stop being such a hard ass and feel this babe.  It's obvious you need to.  Come on, let it out.  I'm here, as long as you need me." he tells her with all the love he could possibly show in his voice.  He needed her to know that she is his number one priority and they will work through it together.  "I can see that you haven't dealt with it completely, and you need to."

"Have you ever lost anyone like that Jon?" she looks up at him, almost with a look of diatin in her eyes.  She is angry now.  "Huh, have you ever lost anyone that close?  Someone that you buried on the day you were supposed to get married?"