Water Ch. 228 - We Could Take It All Apart, Or Hold It All Together

 

"Jon.  What are you doing here?" she quickly asks, as she kneels down to pick up her purse and the contents that fell on the floor.

 

"I live here." he tells her, kneeling next to her to give her a hand. 

 

She stands up, "What do you mean you live here?" Her heart is beating so hard, she's sure that he can see it.  "You live here?"

 

He stands up and hands her hairbrush and iPod that he picked up off the floor.  "Yeah, I bought the place on the 10th floor."

 

"Why?"

 

He didn't feel that he had to explain anything to her.  He was showing her more kindness than he thought that she deserved.   "I didn't think you would ever come back here.  I got the place at a great price and I needed some place to stay while the Jersey house is gutted and remodeled."

 

She stands there and cannot help but look him up and down, and when she was finally able to get her wits about her, she could smell his smell.  THE smell.  Almost made her weak in the knees.  "Well, congrats on the new place.  I need to get upstairs, it was nice seeing you."  She takes a step around him and presses the up button on the elevator. 

 

"How long are you in town for?" he questions her, wondering if he is now in a situation that he never thought would happen.  He knew she was in L.A. and in a serious relationship, so why is she in New York, at her second home?

 

She looks back at him and she tries to hide the pain, and she tells him, "Just for the night.  I had a layover at JFK." 

 

The ding of the elevator was loud and shocked the both of them.  As the doors slid open, Jon asks her, "Where were you going?"

 

"Greece." she answers fast because she knows that the doors will be closing.

 

"It was great seeing you."

 

"Yeah, you too."  The doors close and she is on her way to her floor, her apartment, when she realizes that she hasn't been to the apartment since she was there with Jon.  She has some of his things and some of the kids' things in her apartment.  Unlocking the door, she is met by an odor that smells like it's been closed up a while, even though she still had someone go in there and clean it every other week.  She immediately opens some windows and let's the breeze blow through. 

 

In her bedroom, on the bed is the tshirt she wore to bed the last time that Jon was there with her.  She picked it up and smelled it.  It only smelled like her, so she put it in the hamper.  Throwing her carry-on on the bed, she opens it and takes out her bathroom bag and puts it on the bathroom counter.  Looking around, she decided that she would love a hot bath.  The wine at the airport was losing its effect and she just wanted to relax.  But she needed food first.  She grabbed some cash from her purse and went down to the corner deli to grab a sandwich and some juice. 

 

After she ate, she soaked in a hot bubble bath and just spent the evening relaxing.  Wandering through the house, she picked up and checked out the things that Jon and the kids left behind.  She misses them all, even Jon and she won't let go of what few mementos that she has left of her life with them.  She tries to settle down but knowing that he could be just a few floors below her is driving her crazy.  She's not able to concentrate, and she's feeling a little nostalgic.  She is restless and wants to leave the apartment, Manhattan is busy so she decides to go for a walk.

 

As she's walking down towards the park, she has an overwhelming feeling to go see the twins.  She's not been back since she left, simply because she couldn't do it alone.  And she didn't want Dalton going with her, they weren't at that place in their relationship.  Dalton was privy to very few things from her past.  He knows that she was 'engaged' to Jon and that they lost twins - but the details in between all the drama were left out.

 

Back in her apartment, Beth picks up the phone and calls down to the garage.  She asked to have them bring her car up and they obliged.  Beth grabbed her necessities and went down to her car.  She cringed every time the elevator door open, she tensed as she walked around corners - but once she was in the safety of her own car, she took a deep breath and started the journey into New Jersey.  She's quite excited to see the twins.

 

At the cemetery, she pulled up close to their grave and sat in the car for a few minutes.  She needed to build up the courage and the strength to get out of the car and walk over there.  She was still in mourning, to a certain degree and she's not sure that she can handle this visit on her own.  For a few minutes she prays and finally reached the point where she knows that she can go see them.  She can go talk to them and tell them what she has been up to. 

 

She reaches the headstone and can't stand up.  She has to sit down with them, to be that much closer to them.  She talks to them and tells them how deeply they are missed.  She reminds them that their dad and their siblings love and miss them bunches.  Her tears roll down her cheeks with every word she says, but they finally weren't tears of sadness, they are tears of acceptance.  Comfortable where she is at, she lies back on their grave and starts to sing lullabies to them. 

 

Looking up at the sky, concentrating on her song she doesn't notice the person walking up on her.  Her sunglasses were dark and the image before her looked familiar.  Removing her glasses, she sees that it's Jon.  Jon??

 

She sits up with her glasses off, "Jon, what are you doing here?"

 

"I went back to the building, knocked on your door - when you didn't answer I asked the doorman if you left.  He said you left in your car and this is the only place that I could think of that you might be."

 

"So, why are you here?" she snaps.

 

"To see the three of you."

 

"Jon...." Beth barks at him, as she stands up.  "This is my time that I have to visit.  Could you excuse me?"  Beth wants to be alone with her daughters, but she is pleased that he did show up.  His love is evident in his eyes and she can hear it in his voice.

 

But he honors her wishes, only because he doesn't have the energy to fight with her, or be with her when she is like this.  He gets in his car and drives out of her life.  He decides he won't be treated that way anymore and it's only one night.  They can be in the same building for one night and be okay.  He promises himself that he will not bother her while she's in town, or ever.  Being pushed away at the place that is the most special for them tells him that she is either bitter still or really over him.