Water Ch. 229 - I Got To Confess, Sometimes I'm A Mess

 

Pressing the button for the 10th floor, Beth can feel the knots in her stomach getting tighter. 

She knows that this is going to go one of a few different ways, and she was ready for which one he chose.  Her bath did little to relax her, knowing that he was just feet below her.  He looked good, he looked rested for being near the end of an 18 month world tour.

 

She knocks, and waits.  Nothing.  She knocked again, knowing to stay out of the sight line of the peek hole.  She heard the locks unlock and then the door swung open.  As he's opening the door, she hears him say, "I don't care what it costs, do it the way I told you too."  When he sees it's her, he hangs up on whoever he was talking to on the phone.  Stunned and slightly irritated, he says, "Hey."

 

She smiles a little smile, "Hi." she replies softly.  "Do you have a minute?"

 

Standing there, he looks at her for a minute.  He notices that she has no make up on and her hair was still up, like she used to put it when she would take a bath.  He smiled a little on the inside, he knows she had taken a bath.  He steps back, "Yeah, yeah come in."

 

Beth walks in and follows him into the apartment.  She notices that there is no décor and it's pretty empty.  Jon leads her into the living room and tells her, "Have a seat" motioning to the couch, "Can I get you anything?"

 

"No, thank you." Beth tells him.

 

He sits down on the corner of the couch and asks her, "What brings you by?"  The look on his face has gone cold and Beth can see that.

 

With her voice cracking because she's nervous and scared she starts with small talk, scared to dive into why she's really there.  "You look good.  How's the tour going?"

 

He sits back and puts his hands behind his head, "Thanks.  The tour is almost over, but you could have found that out anywhere.  Why are you here?"

 

Beth can take the hint, she can feel the tension and she can't put it off anymore.  "I'm not sure if powers higher than us have anything to do with why I'm here, honestly Jon, if I had not been layed over I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't be here.  In your house or even in New York.  But I can't help but wonder if I'm here for a reason."

 

"You don't believe that bullshit.  Why are you here?" he snaps, his foot bouncing faster as his irritation gets greater.  "Why Beth?"

 

Beth eases to the edge of the seat and looks him in the eye.  "I'm sorry for the way I acted at the cemetery today.  That was pretty bitchy of me, and I had no right."

 

"Okay."

 

She can see that he's not budging, he's going to stay pissed - and that was his right.  "I never imagined that I would run into you while I was here.  I'm sure you can imagine all the thoughts and feelings that rushed back 5 seconds after I walked into you." she takes a deep breath and continues, "So, seeing you here and then at the cemetery was too much for me Jon.  I'm sorry that I snapped at you and ran you off."

 

"Why is it always about you?  To be honest with you Beth, I don't give a shit how you feel right now or how you felt earlier today."  He leans in toward her and follows with, "The last time you walked out on me was the last time I cared how you felt."  She was getting a full on stink eye and she really didn't like being on the receiving end of it. 

 

She stands up, "I'm sorry to have bothered you Jon.  I'll let myself out." She takes a step to leave, and he reaches up and grabs her hand.  Startled, she looks down at him.

 

"Sit down."

 

"I'm going to go."

 

"No, you're not.  Sit down." he looks up at her, expressionless.  "When you leave here, there will be nothing left unsaid between us.  I'm going to tell you what I have wanted to tell you since the day you left."

 

"Jon, this isn't a good idea.  It's late, I'm going to go now."  And she tried to leave.  If she knows one thing about this man, she knows when he is serious, and this is one of those times.

 

"SIT DOWN, please"  She gives in and takes her seat back on the couch.  Her heart is racing and she knows what's going to come out of his mouth will be nothing but truth, and it's going to hurt.  "Why do you always run when things get bad?  Why is that always your go to reaction?"

 

"Why are we doing this now?" she asks.  "It's all behind us now, Jon."

 

"How can you act like that?  How can you act like the past is the past and that's where it should stay?"

 

"Why drag it all back up to the surface?"

 

"To deal with it Beth, to fucking deal with it." he snaps back at her.  "How can you sit there so carefree about it all?"

 

Beth stands up, "I've dealt with my issues, Jon."

 

"Oh, have you?"

 

"Yes, I have."

 

"Was running away therapeutic for you?  Was cutting me out helpful?" he stands up and walks into her.  "Were you able to deal with everything on your own Beth, because I needed someone, and I had NO ONE."

 

Beth takes a step back from him and gives him a little chuckle, "You needed someone?  You had Melissa, I had NO ONE, Jon. I had to deal with all of that on my own."

 

"No you didn't, you had me."

 

Chuckling again, she says, "I had you?  Um, no Jon - if you remember right I had a man that was stressing that he may have impregnated another woman, that's what I had."

 

"We could have worked through that Beth, you know that."

 

"We never should have had to have to work through something like that, Jon.  My God, we were so happy and we had the world by the ass.  And then that pops up."  Beth walks to the window and looks out over the city.  "it never should have happened."

 

"Why do you act like I cheated on you?  We weren't together.  You left and took my children with you.  You moved and changed your fucking phone number, Beth.  We were done."  Watching his reflection in the window she can see how frustrated he is, and that causes her to feel a little bad about what she did. 

 

Turning around to face him she says, "I know that we weren't together, I know I left you and cut you out of my life - that isn't my issue Jon.  My issue is that you weren't forthcoming with the information, you put me at risk and then when you were dealing with the possibility that you may have knocked her up, not once did you come to me.  You and Paul were trying to make it go away without telling me."  She walks over and leans into him, "Did you and Paul laugh about how blind I was?"

 

He sprang to his feet, and nose to nose he says, "We never laughed at you.  And why do you find it so hard to accept that I was trying to protect you?"

 

"Protect me by being intimate with another woman, without protection - some protection Jonny boy."

 

"Can you get off that?" He sits back down on the couch, rubbing his face with both hands, he exhales loudly.  "It was one time Beth.  I had too much to drink and she was a shoulder to lean on."

 

"Literally, huh?"

 

"She had no knowledge of what had gone on with me and you, she wasn't into rock music.  She didn't know our story.  She listened to me, all night long, talk about how in love with you I was, how much I missed you and she even gave me suggestions on what to do to find you."

 

Interrupting him again, "She must not have known about you, cause if she did, she'd know that you and your psycho WIFE are pro's at hiring private investigators."

 

"Knock it off.  You're deflecting and it's not doing us any good."

 

"This isn't doing us any good Jon."

 

"It might not be doing you any good, but having the opportunity to tell you these things is exactly what I needed."  Beth, not wanting to admit, can see that she sees he needs to talk to her.  She knows that he needs to vent. 

 

Holding up her hands, to stop him from talking again, she tells him, "The hardest thing that I had to deal with since I met you, and I've been through hell, is the fact that I can't trust you.  Losing that was the worst."  she can't face him, he can't see her cry.  She's put all of this behind her and she really doesn't want to revisit it. 

 

"Can we sit down and talk, please?" he pleads with her.  "Like adults."

 

"Yes, I'm sorry."  She sits back down on the couch and asks, "Can I get a glass of water?"

 

Jon gets her a glass of water and yells from the kitchen, "Do you want anything else?"

 

"No.  Just water, please."