Water Ch. 234 - Not All Our Dreams Are Coming True

 

She watches him doze off and that gives her a little bit of comfort, however, she can hear his words ringing in his ears.  He can't be her friend, he can't let her back into his life. 

 

That hurts as much as knowing what she has to do.  She has to get out of the bed and get to the airport, she has a plane to catch to Greece.  The time that they spent together was a great goodbye.  She needed him and he obviously needed her.  She can only think that his change of heart came after seeing her and then realizing that she was leaving in the morning to be with another man. 

 

Beth laid there, rubbing the parts of him that she could reach.  She knew he was sound asleep by the look on his face, it went from one of stress to one of relaxation, and it even had a little smile.  Checking the time, she sees that the alarm is going to go off in 15 minutes.  She figures she'll lay there with him that long and then she needs to get up and get going.  She will be on that flight to Greece.  She needed the warm water and the sun, she needed to be invisible for a while. 

 

Jon woke a little, she thinks to check on her.  When he seen that she was still laying with him, he repositioned himself snugly behind her and fell back asleep with her in his arms.  Beth pretended to be asleep.  When she heard the deep breathing of him, sound asleep again she started to work her way out of bed.  He stirred a little, so she would stop moving and she played that game until she was able to slide off the bed.  Once she's off the bed, she turns the alarm clock off and goes into the bathroom and starts to get ready to go. 

 

Looking at herself in the mirror, she can't believe what she has just done.  She cheated on a man that she really cared about and Dalton really cared for her.  This will crush him if he ever finds out.  Not only has she not been intimate with Dalton, him knowing that she made love with Jon in New York would add insult to the injury.  He may look at this as being planned.  She shakes her head and says to herself, you can't beat yourself up about it.  Go to Greece and relax.  She starts the water in the shower and hopes the sound doesn't wake Jon.  She got lucky, he slept through it all.  She was able to get dressed and out of there, but not before she left him a note.  She knows that he's going to be pissed and maybe even hurt, but when he was thinking clearly he stated that he couldn't be with her again.  He can't let her in, she's hurt him too much.  Beth hears those words over and over and she believes that he really feels that way.  Sitting at her vanity, she grabs some paper from her work bag and pens:

 

Jon,

This is really what you want and what you need.  You made it perfectly clear how you felt about me, about us and I respect that.  Tonight was wonderful and honestly, I needed you to make love with me.  Please know that I will always love you and you are in my thoughts everyday - but too much has happened.  I will take your advice and give Dalton the chance that he deserves, he's a wonderful man.  I don't think I will tell him about tonight, as that would crush him. 

 

We had our time, and it was wonderful; even when it was bad.  But this last year has taught me a lot about myself and about the way I love a man.  You are the love of my life, even after Brian.  I never thought I could let anyone in, but you were and are in my heart and you always will be.

 

When you came up here tonight, you were talking like a crazy man.  I can't be with you, you harbor too much anger towards me still.  I know in time that will change, and when you can let that go I hope that you open your heart and let someone in.  You are a wonderful man and I wish things could be different, but I have to respect your wishes.  Simply because you're right.

 

I have never cheated on anyone and I want you to know that I feel terrible having done it to Dalton.  I can only hope that you don't think badly of me because I made love with you while I'm involved with another man.

 

You are my soul mate and it kills me to leave you here sleeping, but please know - this isn't me running. This is me going on with my life as it is planned.  I will remember tonight for the rest of my life and who knows - maybe the next time I see the kids, I'll see you.

 

Could you please have Peter send me whatever papers I need to sign to give you my interest in the Queensbury house and the Vineyard.

 

I love you!

~B

 

Leaving it on the bed next to him, she grabs her bags and leaves him sleeping in her Manhattan apartment. 

 

She takes the elevator to the lobby and asks the doorman to call her a car.  That time of the morning, she doesn't want to be in a cab and leaving her car at airport wasn't an option.  She had no idea when she would make it back to New York.  The doorman tells her that it would be about 15 minutes and Beth was fine with that.  She took a seat in the lobby and waited.

 

The car arrived as Beth was looking through work emails, so she didn't notice.  The driver came in and asked, "Adams"  Beth looked up and waved.

 

"Right here, sorry."  She stands and grabs her bags and walks out to the car.  Her bags go in the trunk and she gets in the back.  "I need to get to JFK, United terminal please."

 

"Yes, ma'am."  he puts the car in drive and starts to pull away.  Looking at the lobby that just yesterday she bumped into Jon, she sees him getting off the elevator in just his blue jeans.  Running out the door, he can only stand there and watch her pull away.  She looks back and watches him stand in the middle of the road, until he's out of sight.

 

Jon had woken up and seen her note.  Hoping he could catch her, he bolts downstairs and just misses her.  He's pissed.  How can she leave me like this again?