Water Ch. 157 - For A Face That He Dreams of Night After Night

"No Beth, I am not going back to Dorothea.  I'm going back to my children."  He stands up and starts to pace.  She's sitting on the step, looking up at him.  Her thoughts are very unclear.

"So, this is it?"  The tears burn as they come, but she doesn't even try to stop them.  He is ripping her heart out and there is nothing she could do.  He nods his head yes.  Beth seen it in his eyes and on his face.  It's over.

She was never one to stay where she was wanted, let alone unwanted.  She got up and went into the house.  Her vision is blurry from the tears and her nose is running like a faucet.  Stopping in the kitchen, she grabs a paper towel and wipes her eyes and nose.  The climb up the stairs was a tough one, her feet felt like lead - but she needed to get her things and get out of the house.  She didn't want to be there, she didn't want to be there without him, or with him like he was right now. 

She quickly grabbed her things, leaving the pictures of the babies on the bed they shared.  When she's finished packing she heads downstairs.  When she reaches the kitchen, Jon is in there getting a cup of coffee.  He needed more caffeine, staying up all night was for the young ones. 

With her bag and her purse in her hands, she slides past him and stops.  He turns to look at her, and she sees that he's angry.  What pissed him off from when she went inside until now?  She was out of sight, so it wasn't anything she did.  Noticing the look, she asks him, "What the hell did I do now?"

Slamming his cup of coffee on the counter top, "Look at you, look at you right now.  What are you doing?"

Dumbfounded again, she doesn't know what to say.  "I'm leaving Jon.  Isn't that what you want?  We're done, do I really need to stay here?"  She asks. 

"Just like that?"

"What are you talking about?" Beth demands.  Dropping her bags on the floor.  "Do you want me to beg you Jon?  No wait, do you want me to change who I am, for you?"

He looks at her and mumbles, "I want you to feel and show me that you feel."

She stands there and just looks at him.  Did he really just say what he said?  Was this all a game to him?  "What the fuck do you mean by that?" she yells at him?  "You want to see that I feel Jon?  Do you want to see me cry?  Do you want to see me hurt?  Better yet, do you want me to grovel and beg you to stay with me?  Well, that isn't going to fucking happen."  She bends down and grabs her things.  With them back in her hands, she heads out the door. 

Jon, whipping his coat on the floor, follows her out to the driveway.  She had just closed the back car door and he says,  "So, you're just going to fucking leave like this?"

Reaching for the handle of the driver door, she pulls it up and the door starts to open.  As quick as it opened, Jon kicks it shut.  Beth glares at him, and hits below the belt.  "Mr. Bon Jovi you better get back in the house before someone sees you and calls the fucking media.  There wouldn't be enough damage control in place to make this one go away." And she reopens the door.

"Why are you being so damn difficult, Beth?  Why can't you just talk to me?" he pleads.

"Talk to you about what?  The 101 ways to end a relationship that was doomed as soon as it started?  WHAT do you want to talk about, Jon?"  she slams the door and gets in his face.  "Do you want to talk about all the ways I have been turned inside out since I met you?  How I sacrificed to be with you?  Tell me Jon, what do you want to talk about?"

He grabs the sides of her face and snaps at her "My daughters.  How are we going to work all that out?"

Beth rolls her eyes, yet she's surprised by his response.  "Work that out?  We have time for that.  We don't need to and I'm not going to do that now.  Let go of me." she tries to step back, but he doesn't let her go.  He looks into her eyes and he can see that he has pushed her just about too far.  He can see that if he doesn't ease up he will lose her forever.  "Let go of me, Jon."

He releases her and she climbs into the driver seat.  With the key in the ignition, she starts to cry as she turns the engine over.  She reaches to pull the door closed and she says to Jon, "This is what you wanted.  You called this toxic and I think you're right."  The door is closed and the car is in reverse.  Beth has left the house in Queensbury, for the last time.  She thinks out loud, "So much for my happy place."  And the heartfelt, heartbroken cry starts.  She's a blubbering mess as she drives away from the house.  She had no idea which way she was headed, or where and she didn't really care.

Jon storms back in the house and grabs his jacket, reaching for the cell phone in the pocket.  Flipping it open, he calls her cell phone.  It went right to voicemail, telling him she didn't even have it on.  That pissed him off even more.  He made a quick call for the chopper to pick him up as soon as it could.  He had an hour before one could get there.

Taking a deep breath, he decides he needs to go get cleaned up before he heads back to the New Jersey.  Sprinting up the stairs to the master suite, he sees the pictures on the bed.  Reaching for one, he sits down next to them.  One by one, he looked at everyone like he was looking at it for the first time.  Taking in every detail, every feature he starts to cry.  His heart hurts more than it ever has before.  His heart is racing so fast, he thought it may jump out of his chest.  He takes his finger and traces their little bodies, talking to them, through the sobs.  "I'm sorry baby girls, I am so sorry."

With all the pictures in his hands, he holds them to his heart and lies back on the bed.  He can't stop the tears, he can't stop the hurt.  She just left with his babies, and there was no getting her back now.  She was gone.  He lays there so long, he fades off to sleep.

 

Love Lies

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