The two of them are laying in bed, making small talk, since they both were super tired. Beth wanted to be held in the security of his arms and she made sure he did that. And he definitely didn't mind. He was happiest with her in his arms.
"Beth."
"Yeah." she tilts her head back to look at him, "What's up?"
"I'm sorry."
"For?"
"Being an asshole earlier."
"We both are guilty of that Jon. No need to apologize, really."
He pulls her gently back, with his hand on her shoulder, and puts his arm across her chest. "I was a total dick about Richie, and I should have all the facts before I flew off the handle."
"It's okay, babe. But can we not talk about this now. We are in bed together and he's the 2nd to the last person I want to talk about right now."
"Okay." He leans over and gently kisses her nose. "How are you doing?"
"I'm good, what do you mean?"
"With your grief, your loss?" he rubs her belly, reminding himself that the baby bump was gone.
"I think I'm doing as well as can be expected. It's only been a short time, I'm not sure what stage I'm in. I think I just walked out of the barter phase? What about you?"
"Barter phase? What do you mean?"
"It's one of the five stages of grief, I went back and forth with God, begging him to change it all. I would give anything to have Rowan and Spencer here, literally anything. But I know that isn't going to happen." She kind of explains the stage of grief she thinks she just went through. "How are you doing?" She asks, as she rubs the arm he has over her belly.
He looks to her and he says, "I honestly don't think it all has sunk in yet. I have moments when I'm super sad, and then I picture the two of them laying there, together, and the sadness goes away. I'd give all of my money and worldly possessions to have them here. I would live in a car, to have them with us." He makes Beth cry. She's not crying because she's lost her babies, now she's crying because Jon lost his babies.
Turning on her side to face him, she runs a finger down his forehead, down the bridge of his nose and stops on his lips, "The doctor gave us the all clear to try again."
Jon just kind of looks at her, not believing what she just said. "What if it happens again? Should we have some tests done to determine what really happened? To avoid having to bury another baby. I couldn't go through that again." He rests his head on her chest and she runs her fingers through his hair. He's always loved when she's done that, specially with her long nails. "I couldn't do it again, babe."
She puts her arm on his back, rubbing him up and down, squeezing his butt cheek when she gets there. "How do you propose we prevent it? I really don't want to take pills Jon, or wear a patch."
He turns his head to look up and her and honestly says, "I hate condoms, you know that."
"What do you propose we do then? Not have sex? No wait, let's use the catholic method, works like a charm." She then cracks him on the ass. "I honestly think we just need to leave it in the hands of a higher power. My faith isn't strong, but I do have some. I believe things happen for a reason. There is a deeper meaning and plan behind losing them, there has to be! I can't imagine a god so cruel."
"As I've always said We gotta hold on to what we got. And if its our faith, then it's our faith. I still don't know about taking that big of a risk. It's scary."
"So is life, living in fear."
"I don't know babe. I don't know." As he continues to rub her belly. His fingers would occasionally creep below the elastic of her panties, he loved feeling her gasp for air when the tip of his fingers would break the skin elastic barrier. "Ya know, from this angle you're pretty hot" and he chuckled.
"It's the panties, Victoria's Secret can make anyone look sexy." And she takes a handful of hair, guiding his face to hers. "That song that's your ring tone, tell me about it."
That was not what he was expecting her to say, but he didn't mind answering the question. "She's a Mystery was a song that Billy Falcon gave us to record. He wrote it and said the entire time he was writing it, he could hear me sing it. So we put it on the Crush album. It was never released as a single, but it's lyrical genius to me." He kisses her lips and adds, "Now that I have met you, that song takes on a whole new meaning. Specially the part you heard."
"You'll have to play it for me tomorrow, I would love to hear the whole thing."
"It's you to a T."
She smiles, "That good, huh?"
"I wish I had written it, I love it that much. We've done alot of work with Billy, you'll have to meet him someday." He tells her, giving her one more glimpse into his life and showing her that she's even more welcome and accepted, into his life.
"I'd like that."
Jon lays down next to her and does what feels right. He has to touch her, he has to feel her. Her soft skin on his finger tips and the smile on her face are as close to heaven as he thinks he'll ever get, alive.
"I know I don't have to say this, but I'm going to...I love you Beth."
She smiles at him and says, "I know you do."
"Why does all of this have to be so tough? When are we going to have our moments peace, our time to shine, our life to live?"
Beth gives him a crooked smile and says, "I think this is it. I think we are at our moment right now. Let's enjoy it, because tomorrow, we're back in the public eye."
"We need to take a vacation. Just us and the kids, would you like that?"
"I would. I would love some alone time and some private time with the kids. Since we lost the girls, our time with them has been limited, with school and all. We should, let's go somewhere private and out of the way. Some place warm and sunny. I would love to lay o the beach again."
"Want to go back on the yacht? We can go out to see for a couple of weeks." he tells her, with quite a bit of excitement. And she can see that he might like to do that.
She tells him, "That sounds great to me, but let's see that the kids want to do. Maybe they don't want to be surrounded by water for days."
"That's fair. We can call them tomorrow and talk to them. Give Stephanie the idea and she'll figure out what her brothers want to do. I"m pretty sure Jake and Romeo will want to do one of the Disney's." he knows his kids. Whenever they are given the opportunity to go anywhere, their first response is always Disney.
"Oh my God, I haven't been there in years. We should do that. That would be so much fun." and Beth starts to show signs of being excited about something, and Jon loves that. Maybe a vacation would do them both a world of good. Jon, Beth and the kids alone for a while. Beth loves that idea.
"I guess we'll go to Disney. But which one?"
"Let's work it into the plans, either on the way to the yacht or from the yacht. The kids deserve something fun. Do they have time off from school at all?"
Jon thought for a moment, "I'm not sure, but I don't think so. They can take school work with them and Pete can keep them up to speed. That is if you don't mind if Pete comes?"
"Heck no, I love Pete and I love having her around. She is so good with the kids and they love her."
"She is good. She's been with me for so long, I can barely remember life before her."
"Good, tomorrow we can discuss it further and you can put it into motion, unless you trust me to do it? I can make travel plans, you know. I'll just do what you do and call Dawn." she pokes him in the side, making fun of his inability to do many things on his own. He's learned over the years that when he's called places to make arrangements, once they find out they are talking to Jon, everything gets messed up or the customer service rep drops the phone.
Beth snuggles into the cacoon of his chest and arms and let's out a big sigh of relief. She's safe in his arms and they are better than they have been in a long time, maybe better than ever. Jon wraps her in his arms and gently strokes her hair. He knows that if he does it long enough, she will drift off to sleep and he will be right behind her.
In These Arms
A vacation sounds like the perfect thing for them right now.
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