Water Ch. 166 - Lock The Door, Leave The World Outside

 

 

With Jon at her side, Beth knew that she was going to get through this day; but only if Jon is at her side. 

 

Visitors start to arrive to pay their respects.  Many Beth didn't know and all she's sure she would forget.  She feels like she is in a bad dream and she can't wake up. 

 

Jon and Beth are together in the formal living room when his mother and father arrive.  Romeo sees Beth and does what he always has done, he runs to her and grabs her leg.  Jon, running interference swoops the little man up and Beth tells him, "Hello, little man."  And she leans over and gives him a kiss. 

 

He was done, he had enough.  He wanted down.  With a few random kicks and "Down, daddy" Jon set him back on the floor.  Romeo had no idea what was going on, but he seen the white box and wondered what was in it.  With his little fingers, he grabs onto the side of the casket and pulls himself up a little bit.  He's puzzled by what he sees and he looks back to his dad and points, "Baby."   And away he runs.  Jon looks at Beth and gives her a little smile, she smiles back.

 

John and Carol hug both Beth and Jon hello.  Mrs. B can't help but fret over the little girls.  Fixing their little dresses and repositioning their hats.  Jon casually reaches over and touches his mother's arm.  She looks to her son and he slightly shakes his head no.  Mrs. B didn't know what to do.  Jon made a motion letting her know that Beth had just done that and she needed to leave them alone.  Mrs B got the picture and let her son know that that's okay. 

 

"Beth honey, do you need me to do anything for you?" John asks her, not sure what he could possibly do for her at this point. 

 

"No, I'm good.  Thank you though.  Where are Jake and Jesse?" Beth wonders.  Mom and dad came in with only Romeo.

 

Carol jumps in and says, "Richie, Heather and Ava just arrived.  They went to see Ava. They will be in, in a minute dear.  Why don't you sit down?  Did you eat anything today?"

 

"I did eat.  Jon brought me breakfast in bed this morning." 

 

"Did you two get any sleep last night?"  Carol asks, looking to Beth. 

 

"I managed to get a few hours.  I'm not sure about him." and she elbowed Jon.

 

"I got a little bit.  I kept checking on the girls.  Stephanie spent the night with the girls, and I wanted to make sure that she was doing okay."

 

"Where is Miss Stephanie?"  Grandpa questions them.

 

Jon told him that she was upstairs getting ready.  At this point, the front door opened and there was Richie, Heather, Ava, David and Tico.  Jon was touched by the sight of his brothers.  He had spoken to all of them on the phone over the last couple of days, but to see them made him feel just a little bit better. 

 

Richie walked up to Beth, and in true Richie fashion he said to her, "You look beautiful.  How are you honey?"  Beth hugged him and melted a little bit in his arms.  He was her friend, he was her brother and she felt safe.  She didn't think that anyone could touch her heartache, but Richie had a way about him. 

 

Patting him on the back, she whispers into his ear, "I'm doing as well as can be expected, and thank you."

 

David embraced her next and told her, "I'm so sorry for your loss.  If there is anything we can do for you, just think it.  One of us will figure it out."

 

"Thanks Dave.  How are you?" Beth makes conversation, people that she knows and people that she likes are here and they were enough - in her mind.  Jon's band of brothers was all the support that she needed.

 

Tico grabbed her and hugged her tight, his words were, "We're here for you, for anything."  And he moves onto Jon. 

 

After they all hugged and said hello, the boys went into the living room and took their place by Jon's side, but out of the way.  They were there for their brother as long as they needed to be.

 

Next to arrive were Matt and Tony.  Beth was very happy to see them, it had been a while.  They have talked on the phone a time or two over the last couple of days, but seeing them made her feel better.  It warmed her heart knowing that all of Jon's family was there, for him and for her as well.  Tony grabbed her and picked her up off the floor.  She hugged him back and he told her that he was sorry for their loss and that he believes that things happen for a reason.  And Beth believed that.  Her faith in God kept her upright most days, but lately she is assured that there are things that she sees that he has a hand in.  Taking her daughters could only be God's will.  She had wondered if he took them to spare them a life of disability or deformity, maybe a mental illness?  But for Tony to mention that made her feel that she was on the right path with her rational, and her thoughts.  Matt hugged both Jon and Beth and told them what everyone else tells them.  Sorry for the loss and if they needed anything all they had to do was say the word.

 

With Jon's family behind them and beside them, he grabbed Beth's hands.  The next ones to arrive were going to be family friends, friends and strangers to both of them.  Security is heavy on the grounds and there are police cars at each end of the street.  Flowers were placed at the fence along with stuffed animals, cards, and candles in honor of the twins.  The out pour from the community and Bon Jov's fans were unbelievable to Beth.  She was so touched and so moved by the grand gestures.

 

The two hour afternoon visitation was pretty mild.  Obie made his way through and so did Paul, expressing his deepest sympathy to both Jon and Beth, having to bury a daughter of his own.  He knows the pain that they are going through and totally understood when he had to cancel the dates that Jon booked.  

 

"Paul, thank you for coming!" Jon hugs his manager and long time friend.  He wasn't sure if Paul was able to make it due to the 'bad press' that Jon was getting for cancelling. 

 

"There isn't any place that I would rather be, Jon."

 

Jon motions toward the kitchen and tells him, "go get a drink or a bite to eat.  The boys are back there with Obie."  And Paul goes to the kitchen to join the rest of Jon's professional family.

 

Beth is alone, standing at the casket, looking down on her baby girls and says to them, "Wait for me, I'll be there soon."  And the tears she fought for most of the afternoon are coming now, full force.  She kneels down and caresses their faces with the back of her fingers and starts hum another lullaby.  "I will never forget you baby girls.  We will be together soon."

 

The touch she feels on her shoulder she knows can only come from one person, and one person only.  "Hey.  What are you doing in here all by yourself?"  Jon asks her, kneeling down next to her.

"Look at them. They are so peaceful, why do they have to be gone?  Why is this happening?" She rests her chin on the side of the casket, staring at their little faces, stroking their cheeks.

Jon puts his arm around her and says, "Beth, they're not gone. They're right her." And he taps on her heart. "They will always be with us, wherever we go, whatever we do.  They're our little angels."

 

"I know, but that doesn't make it hurt any less."  She continues to stare at the girls, longing to hold them.  "I never heard them cry, never seen them smile - this isn't the way it's supposed to be." 

 

He has no response to that, because she didn't get to do either.  He can only imagine how that must hurt her.  He has four children and he's heard all of them cry, still, that does nothing to ease his pain either.  He rests his chin on the side of the casket too, turning his head to look at her.   "Do you want to eat something before the next wave comes through?  Maybe lay down?"  He reaches over and caresses her face tenderly, "How are you feeling?  Any discomfort or pain?"

 

She shakes her head back and forth, telling him, "No.  Who are all of those people that came through?  They all are such a blur."

 

"Don't worry about that.  You remember the people that are important."

 

"Did the guys leave?"

 

"Richie is still here with Ava, but Heather, Dave and Tico are gone.  Why?"

 

"What are the kids doing?  Where's Romy, I haven't seen him but for a second." she looks at Jon, wanting to know where the kids are.  She hopes they are still at the house.

 

"Pete has them upstairs, entertaining them.  Do you want to go up and see them?" he takes her hand.

 

"How are they doing?  How's Steph?  I feel like I have ignored everyone all day.  Is she okay?" Beth and Stephanie have bonded and any separation that they have gone through hasn't hindered their relationship at all.  Stephanie had given Beth a note prior to visitors arriving and all it said was "Thank you for naming my baby sister after me.  I love all of you!  ~ Stephanie Rose"  Beth tucked it up her sleeve and still had it.  She pulled it out and handed it to Jon.

 

He opened the note and smiled.  He told her, "Stephanie is doing okay.  She's tough like her dad.  I think she's more worried about you than anyone."  Handing her back the note, Beth tucks it back up her sleeve.  She will keep that note forever. 

 

Kneeling on the floor, in front of their daughters, Jon and Beth just look at one another.  Jon can read her mind, just by the look in her eyes.  And he just says to her, "You will get through this.  I'll be right here beside you."

 

She's anxious, she wants the visitation to be over, but not the day.  She wants the day to last forever, because tomorrow she has to tell her daughters goodbye.  "Who do you expect to see tonight?" 

 

With a puzzled look on his face, he thinks for a moment.  Running who he has seen through his mind, he can only think of one or two people that he didn't see today, that they might see tonight.  "Sister Mary will probably visit.  The Governor and the mayor, maybe.  I can't say for sure."

 

Grabbing his wrist she asks, "What time is it?"  And she sees that it's 6:30.  She knows that people could start showing up at any second.  The second visitation was set for 7:00.  She sits down on her butt, on the floor.  Her knees are sore.  Sitting there with Jon, in the formal living room alone she wonders, "Has any of Dorothea's family been here?"

 

He shakes his head no.  "She did send flowers though.  I had them taken out to the studio."

 

"That was nice of her." with no feeling.  She wasn't mad, sad or even happy about it - she really didn't care.  She's sure the car is full of empty sentiment and frankly doesn't care.  "Thanks for taking them out of her before I seen them.  Did you look at all the flowers that were sent?"

 

"People love you and feel terrible for us honey.  Flowers are a good way to say that.  But yeah, the house is full.  If anymore come, we're going to have to line the driveway's with them."

 

"Did you see the ones that your fans left outside?  You have some dedicated fans that love you and feel sorry for you, as well, babe.  I'm touched by all of it." she takes his hands, "I watched a couple women leave some when I was coming down stairs, one of them was crying - it was like it had happened to her."

 

"Yeah, my fans are great.  But let's get back to topic.  Are you in any pain, how are you feeling?  Do you want to eat while you have time?"

 

"I'm good.  No pain, I just feel empty.  Two days ago I had two babies in my belly.  Today there are none.  My heart is broken and there isn't any cure for that.  Nothing we have or you can do will make me feel better at this point.  Why don't you go grab a bite?"

 

"I'm staying with you."  He needed to hug her, he needed her in his arms and he made that happen.  With her in his arms he just holds her and runs his hand over her hair.  He can feel that she is so tense and so tight.  "Do you want something for the tension?"

 

"No."

 

"Are you sure?  You're pretty tense."

 

"I'll be okay.  Just hold me."

 

They are on the floor in a tight embrace and Richie starts to enter the room.  When he seems them, together, leaning on each other, he has one thought.  He sees his brother in an enormous amount of pain and it's a pain that Richie can't help him with.  Richie turns around and heads to the media room, that has controls for the intercom throughout the whole house.  Knowing his way around sound systems and stereo controls he quickly finds a copy of the album he was looking for  Opening the CD player, he inserts the disc and selects track number 3 and presses play, followed with pressing repeat.

 

Richie knows the meaning to the song, and knowing Jon like he does, he knows that the song will help him and Beth through the rest of the night and hopefully the next few days.  Now they needed one another more than ever and they needed to know that.  This song will help them see how much they really do love one another and that love will pull them through.  Richie has to believe that because Richie has never seen a love like Beth and Jon's.

 

Beth hears the music playing and looks to Jon, wondering what the hell is going on.  Putting a finger to her lips, he whispers with tears in his eyes, "Listen."  And he loses it.  Richie did the one thing that Jon couldn't do for himself.  Richie was able to get Jon to feel what was really going on.  He grabs her and pulls her as close as he can.  She holds him and let's him cry it out, she knew he needed to do it too.  And she also knew he was going to try to be the tough guy until they were alone and all of the madness was behind them.

 

The song plays through one time and they both are sobbing and feeling a little relief.  They had their moment and they both know that it can only get better.  Rock bottom was as low as one could go and they agreed that they were right there. 

 

Reaching over the side of the casket and placing his hand over both of the little lifeless bodies, Jon starts to sing, "I never knew I had a dream until that dream was you." 

 

http://youtu.be/_9wKi1keg8g