Water Ch. 169 - I'm Counting The Lines

The Bon Jovi jet lands at the executive airport of LAX and Beth starts to deplane, but not before Jon can hug her and kiss her.  He asks her, "Are you sure you don't want me to go to the doctor with you?  I don't play until tomorrow night."

"I'm good, Jon.  It's just a check up.  Will you relax, please?" Beth jokes with him.  She can sense that he's apprehensive about being away from her, they have spent the last several weeks together, literally unseperated.  They learned to depend and count on one another over the loss of the twins, and Jon didn't want them taking even a baby step backwards.  "I'll see you in Salt Lake tomorrow."  She kisses him quick and turns around, "Until next time."  And she's off the Bon Jovi plane and headed into the airport.  Jon stands there and watches her walk away, and he feels really good about where they are. 

The car takes Beth to her house in Malibu and the plane leaves for Salt Lake City.  Jon and Beth are without each other until tomorrow.  Can either one of them handle it?

Beth's house is as they left it, so many weeks ago.  The mail piled in the mailbox, newspapers at the doorway and dead flowers lined the walkway.  Beth was a little taken back by the dead plants.  She thinks to herself, 'You can't even keep a hosta alive.'

Walking into the house, she is met by the scent of Jon. His odor either lingered in the air, or it was on her - either way, it made her smile.  She misses him already, and that's a good thing.  With her bags still in her hands, she faces the hallway that leads passed the bedrooms. 

Her room is at the end of the hallway and she needed to pass the twins room to get there.  Deep breath, and she takes the first steps and she's okay.  A few more, still okay.  At their doorway, and she pauses.  She pauses to look in, and much to her own surprise she doesn't feel like crying.  She looks at their names on the wall and that makes her smile; thinking back to how much it meant to Stephanie that Spencer had her middle name.  Spencer Rose was Beth's favorite name. 

She took a step into their room and had a second of panic, but she told herself Beth, you'll be okay.  It isn't anything you should fear.  She put he bags down and walked over to their cribs.  As she stood between them, she reached into each and pulled out the teddy bears that Jon bought them weeks ago.  She hugged them both and started to cry a little bit.  But it wasn't tears of sadness, they were tears of letting go.  She knows that they are gone and they will never feel these soft teddy bears on their cheeks or in their hands.  She can accept that.  She can finally let go a little bit, being in this room was a hurdle she knew she would have to face, and she's glad that she did it alone. 

With the teddy bears under her arm, she grabbed her bags and went into her room.  It was early afternoon and she knows that she needs to be to the doctor at 4pm.  She places the teddy bears in the chair at her bedside and jumps in the shower.  She does the usual routine, gets dressed and heads out the door.  She had an hour to get there, plenty of time.

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"I see no reason why you can't or shouldn't get pregnant again.  I can give you a script for birth control if you like, otherwise, condoms are quite effective."  The doctor tells Beth after doing a pelvic exam.  "Everything looks great, how's your bleeding and cramping?"

"I haven't had any of either for a couple of days.  But, I'd like to resume my sex life, if I get the okay from you."  Beth says, with a little of embarrassment.  "And it would be okay if I were to get pregnant again, right away?" 

"Physically Beth, and medically - there is no reason for you to not be able to get pregnant.  Mentally, well that's up to you and Jon.  You are medically cleared to have sex and get pregnant, if that's what you decide."  Smiling at her, thinking 'To be worried about getting pregnant from Jon Bon Jovi.  If we all could be so lucky.'

Beth had to ask the question, but she doesn't know if she's ready to hear the answer - but her gut isn't letting her stop her mouth.  "Have they determined anything in the death of my girls?"

The doctor flips through a few pages and finally stumbles upon a lab report.  "Well, it says here that your histamine levels were high and had been high for a while.  What that tells me is that your body was having a immunological response to the fetuses in your body.  Basically, you were allergic to them.  It's not real common, but it's not as rare as you think."

"So they died because I was allergic to them?  How did they grow for so long?"

"Well, the histamine levels in your body had to get to a high enough point, and once it did; it got rid of what was making you allergic."  The doctor tries to explain the best that she could, and she could see that Beth understood it, but was she comprehending it?

Beth is even more confused now.  She was allergic to her own babies.  Shaking her head she questions the doctor, "How common is this?  I have never heard of such a thing."

"It happens in about 10 out of 1000 pregnancies.  Research has been showing that it's a gender specific allergy.  Meaning, some women can only carry boys and some can only carry girls."  The doctor holds up her hand, "I'm not saying that's what happened in your situation.  I'm not saying that you can't carry girls - I'm just telling you what the lab reports said.  Did you hear from the Medical Examiner yet?"

"No, am I supposed to?"  The doctor added to Beth's confusion and managed to scare her with just the one question.

"Didn't they do an autopsy?"

"No, Jon and I didn't want them cut open and used as guinea pigs.  We wanted them to rest peacefully." Beth explains to the doctor, feeling a little sad that maybe they could have found the answer to why the twins had died.

"I'm sorry, I guess you wouldn't hear from the M.E. then." The doctor replies, feeling bad that she had asked such a hard question.  "Getting back to your health, you are cleared and ready to go."  She smiles at Beth, thinking of what she had said about getting back to her sex life.  The doctor maybe a little jealous.

Exam is over and Beth gathers her things and leaves.  It's only 5:00, she had no idea what she would do with the rest of her evening.  As she drove through town, she thought that she should stop and see Richie.  She was in the area and he wasn't on the road with Jon; what would a little visit hurt?

Making her way on the 101, she finds her way to Richie's with no problem.  She knocks on the door and is expecting a housekeeper or nanny to answer the door, but Richie did.

"Hey there!  How the hell are you doing?  What are you doing in the neighborhood?  Come in, come in."  Richie steps back and lets Beth in. 

In the foyer, she asks Richie, "Is this a bad time?"

"No, no - never for you.  Come on, let's go sit down."  he takes her hand and leads her to the living room.  He has newspapers all over the place and the TV is on CNN.  "Do yo want something to drink?  Oh nu God, I can't believe you're here.  What's going on?"  He has a smile on his face, Beth sees that maybe he had been alone for a while.

"Where are Heather and Ava?  Why don't I see the little toad head running around?"  Beth asks him, seeing no sign of Heather or Ava; in the living room anyway.

The smile leaves Richie's face as fast as Beth asked the question.  "Didn't Jon tell you?  Heather and I separated three weeks ago."

"Jon didn't stay a word, Richie, I am so sorry."  Beth reaches over and takes his hand.  "What happened?"

Richie leans back and puts his feet up on the ottoman, lets out a sigh and tells Beth, "I caught her with Jack.  They were here, in the pool.  She thought I was in the studio all day, but I came home early.  Busted her ass in the act.  Kicked her to the curb.  G.O.N.E."

"Does she have Ava?"

"No, she's back east with my mom for a few days.  Some family reunion or something.  I wasn't going." he says with all the cockiness that he can muster up.  It's his best defense, to be cocky or funny.  Beth seen through it though.

"How long have you been" and she looks around the living room, "living in the living room?"  She sees take out containers, pizza boxes, beer cans, whiskey bottles and just junk all over the place.  "Are you drinking again?"

"Hell no, all that is from a party I had the night before last.  A few buddies came over and we played poker.  I just haven't cleaned up yet."

"Don't you have staff?"

He laughs at that, "Usually, but when I get like this, I send them home with pay.  No one needs to deal with me when I have my own pity party."

"When did you talk to Jon?  When did you tell him that Heather left?"

"A couple days ago.  Why?"

"I'm just wondering why he didn't tell me.  Other than that, and I'm not downplaying it, how are you doing?"

"Good.  Great.  How are YOU?" he asks with gusto.  "How is the future Mrs. Jon Bon Jovi doing?  I think about you all of the time, I'm so sorry about the babies."

Beth chuckles and sits back on the couch.  How is the future Mrs. Jon Bon Jovi doing?  She found that funny.  "I'm doing as well as can be expected, and thank you.  It gets a little easier day by day."

"Where's Jon?  You're out here alone?"

"No, he's in Salt Lake for those intimate shows that he had planned before we lost the girls, they've been rescheduled.  I'm here because I needed to see my doctor fro my post op check up.'

"How long are you here for then?"

"I'm going to Utah tomorrow and do the little tour with Jon.  Looking forward to the break and the down time.  These past few weeks have been crazy."

Richie leans forward and says, "Baby, it's just getting started.  Neither one of you have been in the public eye yet.  Wait till they get their hands on you."

Beth rolls her eyes and blurts, "Gee, thanks.  I have nothing to say to the press, at this point.  With all the shit that went on with Dot and then the loss of my children, there is NO ONE in the media that wants to talk to me.  It won't be good."

Richie was able to pick up that Beth wasn't wanting to talk about the more serious subjects, so he lightened the mood and asked, "What can I get you to drink?  Are you hungry?"

Beth thinks for a minute and tells Richie, "I could eat, I haven't eaten since I left New Jersey."

"What do you want?"

"You pick.  I'm not familiar with what you have up here, in Calabasas." And she puts an emphasis on Calabasas.

"Fuck, look at what you have down there in Malibu.  I'd rather eat in Malibu then up here.  Fucking surrounded by trees everywhere, can't do this, can't do that......I'll be right back.  I just need to change."  And he gets up and goes to change his clothes.  Yelling back, he tells Beth, "Help yourself, make yourself at home."  And she can no longer hear him.

Looking around, she gets up and starts to tidy up a little bit.  Stacking pizza boxes on top of one another, gathers all the cans and bottles and starts to straighten up s bunch of guitar magazines on the end table.  Mixed amongst the magazines she sees a notebook.  It's open and she reads what's written in Richie's handwriting. 

I got your picture on my phone
Your voice in my head
I'm lying here alone
Restless in a faraway bed
The stars will falling down
And I'm half a world away
I'm just trying to close the distance
To feel each breath that you take

Around it, in the margins, she reads her name.  Beth.  Beth Ann, written many times - over and over.  And in the lower left hand corner, there's a small black heart.  Which is leading her to believe that what he was writing was about her.  The lyrics were shocking..........does Richie really feel this way about me, she thinks out loud.

Behind her, she hears the words, "I do." And there stands Richie.


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