Water Ch. 37 - Dirty Little Secret 2011

2011

 

 

Being the mistress of a rock star was very difficult.  It was even more difficult when you love that rock star.  She wanted to forget him, she wanted him to be a thing of her past - she wanted to wake up from this nightmare and she knew that she wasn't going to. 

Her break was over and she had to go back down to her office and finish her day.  She had gotten caught up, maybe even a little ahead before she took her much needed break.  Tammy, her assistant for the past six years, sees that's she's back in her office.  She walks in to see if her boss needs anything.  "Hey, can I get you anything?" peeking in the door. 

"No, I'm good.  Thank you though.  What's been going on?" Beth is curious to know how many press requests Tammy has turned down.  And Tammy knows it.

"So, far all that have called are ET and Extra." Tammy reassures her.  "I'll decline any other ones I get, as well.  I did get an email from the Post wanting an interview, respectfully declined that as well."

"Thank you Tammy.  I just can't get my head to set straight.  My life has been turned upside down in a matter of days and I'm not sure what to do." she confides in her assistant.  The assistant that's been with her from the beginning.  When Beth relocated, Tammy did too.  They were a pair that worked well together.  And Tammy could tell that she was hurting.  She has seen it before. 

"All I'm going to say on the subject is this; you're my boss but you're also my friend, so I'm going to say this as a friend, you need to follow your heart.  You have been emotionally dead since you guys spilt.  Do you like feeling like this?" her assistant says with a little bit of attitude.  Beth couldn't argue with Tammy, because she was right.  That still didn't help Beth out though.  "He loves you and you love him, the past is the past - let it go.  You have the best years of your life ahead of you.  Do you really want to waste it here, when you could be globetrotting with the hottest man on the planet?"  Beth was shocked.  She never knew that Tammy thought Jon was hot. Tammy would have never said anything like that before, but now it's different - Beth was her friend. 

"How do you expect me to put it all behind me?  We lost a daughter and the way he ended things was pretty shitty.  I have a hard time with that."  She defends herself to her assistant, even though there really wasn't a need.  Tammy was there when it all went down.

"I wasn't involved and I have a hard time with the way and the why he ended things, but Beth, you're not happy!  You know deep down that you want to be with him."  Beth is wondering now if Tammy has talked to Jon.

"Have you talked to him?" she questions her assistant.

"No, and I can't believe you even asked me that."  Tammy is a little offended.  She has never done anything that would harm or in any shape affect Beth negatively.  She was pissed, actually.

"Then why are you so PRO - Jon today?  You typically take my side on this subject."

"Have you looked at YOU in the newspaper today?"  Tammy picks up a copy of the papers on her desk and hands it to Beth.  "Look at YOU!"

"Yeah, I see, what are you getting at?  My robe is blowing open?" Beth fails to see what Tammy is trying to point out.

"No, smart ass, look at your face."  Tammy demands that she look at herself. 

Beth takes the paper and looks at the half page color picture of her and Jon on the deck, at the Oyster Point Hotel.  She is immediately drawn to Jon with no shirt and her mind takes her back to the night before that picture was taken. 

"Do you see it?"  Tammy asks.

"No, I don't."  states Beth.

"Beth look at how happy you look.  You had no idea your picture was being taken, so it wasn't posed - look how freakin' happy you are."  Tammy sighs and sits down across from her boss. "You have to admit that you are miserable without him.  You know he's miserable without you - so why are you being so difficult?"

"For two years, I had to fight to not call him, go see him or anything.  He wanted out, so I let him out and cut him out.  Why is it that he just gets to waltz right back in and I have to deal with it.  Why do I have to accept that?"

"He walked away because it was the best thing for him to do at that time.  We all know now that it was all a bunch of bullshit and if he would have gotten more details the two of you would be married by now." she's convincing, but Beth is still quite hurt and now she's pissed.

"I remember when I met him.  Oh my god, he swept me off my feet, then everything happened so fast.  We were always gone and when we weren't, we were in New Jersey.  I fell so in love with him, you have no idea.  There were days when I would come into the office, back in L.A., and I would just want to talk about the experience I had the night or the weekend before.  It was nothing for us to get on a plane and go to Denver for dinner.  Or to Chicago to catch a show.  I knew about Dorothea and she knew about me.  Yet, it felt like I was a secret.  He needs to be reminded of what I went through to be with him.  I'm telling ya, it was tough at times."

She cannot believe that she is telling Tammy all of this, but it felt good to talk about it.  She continues, "When I met his children, that sweet little Romeo, I was done.  He had me wrapped around his little finger.  His daughter Stephanie and I were very close.  Hell, there was a time when Dorothea and I were chummy.  We went to Beverly Hills to shop one afternoon, from New York.  We hung out from time to time in the city, she was pleasant.  I never got a bad vibe from her, until the end.:

Tammy interrupted and said, "Ok, what changed it all?  What made you walk out of his life and go off the grid?  What was so bad that you gave all of that up?"

Beth blankly looked at her and said, "I couldn't explain it, if I tried.  That's whole other story.  I think the biggest hurdle for me was losing McKenna.  I think I'm still stuck back at that jilted and wounded mother spot.  Ya know, the why me?  Why my baby?"  The tears started to flow and Beth reminded herself she was at work.  Wiping her eyes, she looks at Tammy and says, "Thank you for listening to me go on and on."  she gives her assistant a soft smile and Tammy winks at her.  They were friends.

"Can I get you anything before I head out for lunch?" Her assistant asks as she stands up to leave.

"No, I'm good thanks.  Where are you headed for lunch?"  Beth asks, thinking she might have her get her a coffee, if it's convenient for her.

"I'm not sure yet, I was just going to get out to the sidewalk and decided from there.  Do you want me to get you something?  I can go wherever." Tammy is trying to be helpful, but she knows that the only one that can help her, is the one person that hurt her the most.

"Don't worry about it.  Go have lunch, go soak up some of that sunshine. Go on, get out of here."  Beth shoos her off.  Tammy leaves and Beth is left alone with her thoughts.  Sometimes that is not a good thing, and this will prove to be one of those times.

Beth turns her chair to look out at the view.  The New York City skyline is one of the most magnificent things to see, and so many take it for granted.  She sat there and stared, her thoughts were getting the best of her.  What was he doing?  Is he just a few blocks away?  Is he thinking about her?  She reaches over and grabs her cell phone.  Shaking like she was on a week long speed high, she finds Jon's contact info and can't press call...............she sits there shaking, not sure what to do.